Book Chapter: Social and Religious constructions of motherhood in Indonesia- Negotiating expectations of childbearing, family size, and governmental policies (chapter 10)

Title : Social and Religious constructions of motherhood in Indonesia- Negotiating expectations of childbearing, family size, and governmental policies (Chapter 10)

Writer : Nina Nurmila

If you are studying Islam, Gender, Motherhood, you should own this book...Amazing book

Nurmila, Nina., 2016, Social and Religious constructions of motherhood in Indonesia-negotiating expectations of childbearing, family size, and governmental policies, in Muslim mothering-global histories, theories and practices, Margaret A.P, and Dana M.Olwan (Eds), Demeter Press: Canada

My Summary

Nina Nurmala wrote our everyday life, including my life. She started with the history of Women heroes for struggling the education for women, such as Kartini (1879-1904) in Central Java, Dewi Sartika (1884-1947) in West Java, and Rahmah el-Yunisiyah (1900-1969) in West Sumatra. She also divided the history of marriage, family planning, divorce procedure, before 1970s and after 1970s. She introduced some terms of

1.     Kawin Gantung (suspended marriage)

2.     Unilateral divorcee (cerai by only said “I divorce my wife”)

3.     Abandonment (istri ditinggalkan saja)

4.     Arbitrary Polygamy (Poligami tanpa istri pertama tahu)

After 1970s, some women organisation, including as Istri Sedar, Aisyiyah Muhamadiyah, Muslimat Nahdatul Ulama were fight for women’s life. Then, the second President published the regulation for Marriage Law (No 1 Tahun 1974) to regulate about the role of a husband, a wife, the age for marriage, and the regulation for divorcee to protect women. In this Era till now, if a husband want to divorce his wife, they should follow some procedure, at least three ‘Sidang’ including reconciliation procedure before deciding a divorcee officially. Although in the practice of everyday life of Indonesian till now, to some extent, some men still practice traditional marriage law and divorce law before 1970s, that I found in my study.

Nina Nurmala also explained about the history of Family Planning before 1970s and after 1970s. She indicated (based on her reading), Family Planning was prohibited before 1970s, then after 1970s, the President Soeharto sought Fatwa with MUI to allow the family planning program in Indonesia.

I also agreed with Nina Nurmala opinion about “Yet to some extent, Indonesian Muslim women who live in both rural and urban areas tend to live based on Indonesian culture rather than on the Qur’anic injunctions governing childbirth and mothering (pp 238). I thought that the Western perspectives always said, Indonesian with the Muslim as the majority and tend to conclude that Islam forms the behaviours of Muslim Indonesian, however, to some extent we were raised with the rich social and cultural values and norms as Indonesian, local inhabitants combining with religious values on some extent. Indonesian values and norms were built from the famous Srivijaya Kingdom, Singasari (Singosari) Kingdom, Majapahit Kingdom, Demak Kingdom, etc from richness of religion “Buddhist, Hinduism, Islam, Animism ('belief that attributes soul and spirit to plants and objects such as wood, stone, mountain, wind etc), and dynamism (spirit of the highest power, like God)” mingled in our cultural and social values. That what I found in the history book, to understand Indonesia (Nusantara), you should not read a short history of Indonesia (Orla, Orba, Reform era etc), but you should a long history of Indonesia (History of Kingdoms-Nusantara, Colonilasim era etc).  

I believed that ‘local wisdom’ from words of mouth was made for the good will of people and future generation’, including for marriage life. The divorce, from our perspective, is for some extent is a problem solving for some families in Indonesia in the past and nowadays, including in Islam, therefore this divorcee view should be investigated with the intersection of life women in Indonesia, including struggling on economic, migration of a husband to a different island for the sake of life, and education level etc. In the past, marriage is a part of family commitment, some of tribal in Indonesia, even marriage is to strengthen and to maintain ‘tribal blood bond’. They were proud of their own tribal name, therefore in the past, the family house was bigger because they gathered in one spot (observation of my family ‘s houses and neighbourhood). However, nowadays, education is important to change this view of divorce based on cultural and social values and norms. Then, Islam came to introduce “you are created different tribal, and nations therefore, you may know each other” (QS Al Hujurat-49:13- “O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted”) (Discussion with my husband, 28 February 2018) (Noted).

IMPORTANT QUOTATIONS

In Indonesia, mothering is generally expected for married women only, whereas unmarried women are not expected to have children  outside of wedlock. If unmarried women become pregnant, they can become victims of social gossip and isolation. Pp 221

Islam is the majority religion in the country: about 86 percent the population is Muslim. Protestants make up six percent of the population, Buddhist three-and-a-half percent, Roman Catholics three percent, and Hindus two percent. The rest are unidentified which could include animists or atheists. Pp222

Prior 1970s, marriage in Indonesia was traditionally regarded as parents’ business. Parents usually arranged their children’s marriage at an early age, even without the knowledge and consent of the couple (Geerts; Koentjaraningrat: Jaspan and Hill). Many Muslim parents choose their daughters would not choose the right partner and might marry a womanizer- a man who engages in numerous casual sexual affairs with women (Blackburn and Bessel). They were also afraid that their daughters might be involved in sexual misconduct and become pregnant before their marriage. Therefore, many Muslim parents prevented this by marrying off their daughters before they reached puberty (Jones). In addition, most parents, at that time, saw marriage as a passage to adulthood, in which after the marriage, their daughters would be free to choose either to stay or continue their parentally arranged marriage (Geertz). Pp 222

During the colonial era, the land and people of the Netherland Indies (now Indonesia) were exploited and mostly lived in very poor conditions. Only a very small number of the elite Netherland Indies people had access to education. Even though there were several women who fought for women’s rights for education-such as Kartini (1879-1904) in Central Java, Dewi Sartika (1884-1947) in West Java, and Rahmah el-Yunisiyah (1900-1969) in West Sumatra- the majority of women were uneducated. Pp. 222

Even though Indonesia gained its independence in 1945, the country was in an stable economic and political situation, especially right after independence when it was under the leadership of Soekarno (1945-1966). In this early stage of post-independence, Indonesia still had to struggle against Dutch, who still wanted to continue colonizing Indonesia. As a result, the economy was not developed. In addition, in this era, most people were still poor and uneducated, especially women. This low level of education among both men and women had made the process of Indonesian development slower. Pp 222

Parentally arranged marriages at young ages were vulnerable to divorce due to immaturity and incompatibility (Jones; Firth; Heaton et al). Geetz reported that in the 1950s in Java, about 50 percent of all marriages ended in divorce, which mostly occurred in the first parentally arranged marriage. Some of these divorces even occurred before the marriage was consummated, especially in some areas in West Java such as Serang, wehre there was a tradition of “kawin gantung” (Suspended marriage). Kawin gantung is seven to ten years old, but the marriage is usually consummated four to six year later (Blackburn and Bessel).pp 223

** Geertz, Hildred. The Javanese Family: A Study of Kinship and Socialization. New York: The Free Press of Glencoe, 1961. Print

** Blackburn, Susan, and Sharon Bessell. “Marriageable Age: Political Debates on Early Marriage in Twentieth-Century Indonesia. Indonesia 63 (April 1997):107-41. Print

Prior to the 1970s, there was not written marriage law that could protect marital relationships. Many women were vulnerable to unilateral divorcee, abandonment, and arbitrary polygamy. In response to this vulnerable position of women, some Indonesian women’s organizations- such as Istri Sedar, Aisyiyah Muhamadiyah, Muslimat Nahdatul Ulama- fought for better women’s rights in marital relationships. However, women’s positions, in general, did not improve much (Nurmila, women).

**Nurmila, Nina. Women, Islam, and Everyday life: Renegotiating Polygamy in Indonesia. 2^nd Edition. London: Routledge 2011. Print.

In contrast, after the 1970s, the Indonesian situation began to improve. The New Order government (1966-1998), under the leadership of Soeharto, began its development program in 1969. Since the early 1970s, Indonesia  has witnessed massive growth in educational facilities, especially in Java, resulting in expansion of both male and female education. Increased education has correlated with an increase of marriage age: from about sixteen to twenty years old in the 1980s, seventeen to twenty-five years old in the 1990s and seventeen to thirty-nine years old in 2000. Consequently, there has been a change in attitudes to early marriage. Prior to the 1970s, especially in the 1950s, most parents would have been embarrassed to have sixteen-year-old unmarried daughter; therefore, they would have quickly arranged her marriage because of the fear that girl would be called a spinster (. In contrast, after the 1970s, especially in the early twenty-first century, women who marry at an early age are ridiculed and receive negative comments (Smith-Hefner). Pp 223-224

** Smith-Hefner, Nancy J. “The New Muslim Romance: Changing Patterns of Courtship and Marriage among Educated Javanese Youth. “Journal of Southeast Asian Studies. 36. 3(2005)

**Unilateral divorce takes place without the knowledge or consultation of the wife. For example, a man wants to marry another woman, but the woman does not want to be involved in a polygamous marriage and insists that the man divorce his wife first before marrying her. Therefore, the man, fulfilling the request of the woman whom he wants to marry, just says, “I divorce my wife.” This was believed to be a valid divorce prior to the enactment of the 1974 Marriage Law.

** Arbitrary polygamy is when a man marries another woman without the knowledge of his existing wife. He does not divorce his first wife, merely neglects her and the children, and does not support her financially after his second marriage.

** Spinster is an unmarried woman, typically an older woman beyond the usual age for marriage.

The falling divorce rate after the 1970s can also be attributed to the enactment of the 1974 Marriage Law, which requires that divorce take place at the religious court, which makes decisions regarding personal affairs issues, such as marriage, divorce, and inheritance. Prior to the enactment of the Marriage Law, a husband could simply pronounce his divorce, sometimes without the wife’s knowledge. After the enactment of the Marriage Law, couples were compelled to take their divorce cases to the religious court and pay legal expenses. The law stipulated that a couple wishing to obtain a divorce should attend at least three hearings before the divorcee can take place; the first hearing aims at reconciliation effort; and if reconciliation is unsuccessful, the third hearing legalizes the divorce procedure (Jones, Marriage and Divorce). This requirement that the divorce should take place at the religious court allows sometime for the couple to rethink the divorce, which may lead to reconciliation and also gives more room for women to exercise their right to ask for divorce when they are unhappy with the marriage.

**Jones, Gavin W. Marriage and Divorce in Islamic South East Asia. Kuala Lumpur: Oxford University Press, 1994. Print.

**However, the common phenomenon of women exercising their rights for divorce only began to occur in the last ten years, during the Reform Era, when women tended to be more economically independent and less stigmatized as divorced women.

Social Constructions of Motherhood in Indonesia

In Indonesia, women are generally expected to marry after they reach maturation age*. Soon after getting married, they are expected and even pressured to have children. They are also expected to take care of and educate their children. The pressure to have children after getting married can be observed from the questions often asked by neighbours or acquaintances to women at different stages of their lives. The question usually asked to seventeen-and-eighteen-year-old-girls after the 1970s was “Where do you study?”. This may be based on the assumptions that, ideally, girls are still studying at senior high school. This question is usually asked until the age of twenty-four or twenty-five, when people assume that at the age, girls may still be completing their undergraduate studies, if the girls come from educated and middle-upper class families. The following questions are usually asked to women over twenty-five years old:

“are  you single or married?”

if the women answers, “I am single,” the next question would usually be, “When are you getting married?”

this question might be annoying and intrusive, especially if the woman has no idea yet regarding when she is going to get married.

If the woman answers, “ I am married, “ the next question would be, “Have you had any children?” If she answers. “no” the inquirer may suggest many remedies on how to have children, including tips on what food, medicine, and herbs to have.

If she answers, “yes”, the next question could be one of the following :”How many children do you have?”; “Is your child male or female?”; “How old is he or she?”; or “When are you going to have another child?” pp. 225-226

 *girls are considered physically matured (‘baligh’) after they have their menarche. However, the ideal age of marriage is changing as described above. Prior to the 1970s, most girls were expected to get married by the age of seventeen, but after the 1970s, the ideal age of marriage for women is eighteen and twenty-five years old. The 1974 Marriage Law stipulates that that the minimum age of marriage for women is sixteen and for men is nineteen. There have been amendments proposed to increase the minimum age of marriage for women to eighteen because another law, the law of the Protection of Child, defines childhood to be up to eighteen years old. However, up until now, the amendment of the minimum age of marriage to eighteen for women through judicial minimum age of marriage to eighteen for women through judicial review was rejected by the Constitutional Court. Pp 241

The social construction of motherhood can be seen, for instance, in the government development planning during the Soeharto period and various state laws, such as the 1974 Marriage Law, and many writing in the media that emphasized women’s role as wife and mother. For example, the first three stages of Indonesia five-year development planning (1969 to 1984) constructed women as wives and mothers, as supporters of their husbands, and as educators of their children; the last three stages of the New Order five year of the New Order five-year development planning (1984-1999) constructed women as having a double role: as housewives and, at the same time, as workers employed outside the home who contribute economically to their households and Indonesian development in general (Nurmila, “Indonesian Muslim”). As a wife, a woman is expected to take care of all her husband’s physical, sexual, and emotional needs. Pp 226

** Nurmila, Nina.”Indonesian Muslim Women’s Dilemma of Dual Roles.” MA Thesis. Murdoch University, Western Australia. 1997

** Nurmila, Nina. “When There is no husband”. Inside Indonesia. Jan-Mar 2011. Web 12 Apr 2016

**Nurmila, Nina. Women, Islam, and Everyday Life: Renegotiating Polygamy in Indonesia. 2^nd edition. London: Routledge 2011.Print

An article of the 1974 Marriage law states that “a husband is the leader of the family, while a wife is a housewife, “whereas another status that “a husband has to protect his wife and give her all living expenses of the household based on his capability”, and that “a wife has to manage all the household affairs well (Republic Indonesia). Managing household affairs has been interpreted to include many things, such as making the house neat, clean and comfortable, preparing a nutritious and healthy menu for the family, and managing family finances (Perempuan).

RELIGIOUS CONSTRUCTIONS OF MOTHERHOOD

QS 31:14 (be good with parents,), 46:15-19 (be good with parents, and mother), 19:23 (the sickness of delivery), 2:233 (breastfeeding)

Dan Kami perintahkan kepada manusia (berbuat baik) kepada dua orang ibu-bapaknya; ibunya telah mengandungnya dalam keadaan lemah yang bertambah-tambah, dan menyapihnya dalam dua tahun. Bersyukurlah kepada-Ku dan kepada dua orang ibu bapakmu, hanya kepada-Kulah kembalimu. (Surah Luqman ayat 14)

Maka rasa sakit akan melahirkan anak memaksa ia (bersandar) pada pangkal pohon kurma, dia berkata: "Aduhai, alangkah baiknya aku mati sebelum ini, dan aku menjadi barang yang tidak berarti, lagi dilupakan". (Surah Maryam ayat 23)

Para ibu hendaklah menyusukan anak-anaknya selama dua tahun penuh, yaitu bagi yang ingin menyempurnakan penyusuan. Dan kewajiban ayah memberi makan dan pakaian kepada para ibu dengan cara ma'ruf. Seseorang tidak dibebani melainkan menurut kadar kesanggupannya. Janganlah seorang ibu menderita kesengsaraan karena anaknya dan seorang ayah karena anaknya, dan warispun berkewajiban demikian. Apabila keduanya ingin menyapih (sebelum dua tahun) dengan kerelaan keduanya dan permusyawaratan, maka tidak ada dosa atas keduanya. Dan jika kamu ingin anakmu disusukan oleh orang lain, maka tidak ada dosa bagimu apabila kamu memberikan pembayaran menurut yang patut. Bertakwalah kamu kepada Allah dan ketahuilah bahwa Allah Maha Melihat apa yang kamu kerjakan.(Al Baqarah (2) ayat 233)

Conclusion

This chapter has shown that in the post-New Order period educated urban women who have careers tend to plan and determine whether or not they will have children and when they will have them. Yet to some extent, Indonesian Muslim women who live in both rural and urban areas tend to live based on Indonesian culture rather than on the Qur’anic injunctions governing childbirth and mothering. Pp.238

In campaigning for birth control to reduce the Indonesian population, the New Order government “negotiated” with the Indonesian Ulama Council to issue a fatwa (religious opinion) that said it is acceptable to use contraception as a family planning program, which was prohibited prior to the 1970.

During the New Order period, those who had more than three children received unfavourable comments from neighbours or governments staff when they needed their services. Pp 238

Some progressive Muslim feminists who promote the idea that having a sex is also women’s right. This means that women have the right to enjoy sex when they want it and have the right to reject their husbands politely when they do not want it (Mas’udi; Qibtiyah) pp239

Indonesian Muslim feminist also argue that having children is a women’s right, not an abligation. This means that women have rights to decide whether or not to have children or when to have them (see QS 42:38)

Common cited hadith to get married and have children

“Get married and have many children because I will be proud of your greated number than any other pople”

“Marry women whom you love and you can have many children”